• 爸妈在Hoboken的生活，从结识了我家楼上的邢阿姨开始。住家保姆邢阿姨对我楼的中国家庭如数家珍，“八户中国人，三楼三户、四楼两户……我早摸清楚了”。这种了解令我的美国先生直冒冷汗。

    邢阿姨是经家政中介公司引领从河北农村来美国打工的“黑户”，在现在的家庭已工作三年。她来这里是为了圆自己的“美国梦”。邢阿姨在纽约华人社区法拉盛落脚，先在中餐馆做洗碗工，后来疫情来了，餐馆业不景气，又做起家务当起了阿姨/育儿嫂。她每周工作六天，休息的那一天常搭雇主的车去法拉盛见朋友、给家里汇钱，虽然不能回国，但对自己的生活很是满意。

    阿姨家的毛毛，比我家宝宝大七个月，见到弟弟就笑眯眯。阿姨告诉爸妈，冷冻的披萨只要一块钱、法拉盛的排骨比这边便宜三四刀、那边剪头办事都说普通话、“就跟国内一样”。

    My parents' life in Hoboken began with meeting Auntie Xing, who lives upstairs from us. Auntie Xing, a live-in housekeeper, knows all the details about the Chinese families in our building, "Eight Chinese families, three on the third floor, two on the fourth floor... I've already figured it all out." This level of knowledge made my American husband break out in a cold sweat.

    Auntie Xing came to the US from a rural area in Hebei province through a domestic worker agency, working illegally. She has been working for her current family for three years. She came here to fulfill her "American dream." Auntie Xing settled in Flushing, a Chinese community in New York, initially working as a dishwasher in a Chinese restaurant. Later, when the pandemic hit and the restaurant industry declined, she started working as a housekeeper/nanny. She works six days a week, and on her day off, she often takes her employer's car to Flushing to see friends and send money home. Although she can't return to China, she is quite satisfied with her life.

    Auntie Xing's son, Mao Mao, is seven months older than my baby and smiles whenever he sees his younger "brother." Auntie Xing told my parents that frozen pizzas cost only one dollar, ribs in Flushing are three or four dollars cheaper than here, and everyone speaks Mandarin when getting a haircut or running errands there—"just like in China."

    如果说邢阿姨为我爸妈打开了Hoboken的大门，刘大爷则是我爸的“耳报神”。刘大爷住在我家隔壁两条街，他的女儿在小城的大学工作，因此认识了相似背景的人家：王家的媳妇在波士顿读博士、陈家的姑娘等着找男朋友……家庭财务、恋爱婚姻、背景籍贯……无人不识、无事不晓。

    爸妈上下午各一次出门遛娃，带回来的故事，用先生的话说，“比我们住这里三年的都要精彩。”

    陈家老两口在公园里迎上了我爸妈，原来他们错把我家的婴儿车认成了邢阿姨家的。而他们急着找邢阿姨的原因则是她介绍认识的“劲松奶奶”。劲松奶奶的女婿是美国人，奶奶热心，替急着为女儿找对象的陈家老两口物色到了一个合适的ABC，“各方面都挺不错的，就是有点矮，一米七”。开心过头的陈家二老还没回到家，就不慎遗失了通过刑阿姨拿到的劲松奶奶给的联系电话，心急如焚，只能在公园里守株待兔，殊不知等到的却是我的爸妈。

    If Aunt Xing opened the door to Hoboken for my parents, then Uncle Liu was my father's "informant." Uncle Liu lived two streets away from our house, and his daughter worked at the local university, so he knew many families with similar backgrounds: the Wang family's daughter-in-law was pursuing a doctorate in Boston, the Chen family's daughter was looking for a boyfriend...  He knew everything about everyone – family finances, relationships, backgrounds, and origins.

    My parents went out for walks with the baby twice a day, and the stories they brought back, in my husband's words, were "more interesting than anything we've experienced in the three years we've lived here."

    The elderly couple from the Chen family ran into my parents in the park.  It turned out they had mistaken our stroller for Aunt Xing's. They were urgently looking for Aunt Xing because of "Grandma Jinsong," whom Aunt Xing had introduced them to. Grandma Jinsong's son-in-law was American, and the grandmother, being very helpful, had found a suitable ABC (American-born Chinese) for the Chen family's daughter, who was looking for a boyfriend. "He's quite good in all aspects, just a little short, only 1.7 meters tall." Overjoyed, the Chen couple, before even getting home, accidentally lost the contact number Grandma Jinsong had given them through Aunt Xing.  Anxious, they waited in the park, hoping to run into someone who could help, only to encounter my parents instead.

    我妈补充，陈家二老口音浓重，又似耳背，沟通十分不畅，但陈家姑娘在高校任职。

    “怎么还需要爸妈找男友呢？我看你们都是瞎操心，没准人家喜欢女生。”我说。

    “或者有一个白人男朋友。”先生猜测。

    “别胡说八道。”我爸妈完全不觉得我俩的笑话好笑。

    时间久了，我和先生也逐渐了解了Hoboken中国邻里之间的盘根错节。邢阿姨和劲松奶奶相熟，却并不喜欢她。邢阿姨家的毛毛本是宝宝的姥姥照顾，因为姥姥和女儿闹翻一气之下回了北京，这才有了邢阿姨。于是姥姥走前，拜托劲松奶奶当自己的“眼线”，要好好监督、及时汇报，看邢阿姨是否称职、宝宝是否安好。

    My mother added that the elderly couple from the Chen family had strong accents and seemed hard of hearing, making communication very difficult, but their daughter worked at a university.

    "Why do they still need their parents to find a boyfriend for her? I think you're all worrying unnecessarily; maybe she likes girls," I said.

    "Or maybe she has a white boyfriend," my husband speculated.

    "Don't talk nonsense," my parents didn't find our jokes funny at all.

    Over time, my husband and I gradually came to understand the intricate relationships among the Chinese neighbors in Hoboken. Aunt Xing and Grandma Jinsong knew each other well, but Aunt Xing didn't like her. Mao Mao, Aunt Xing's child, was originally cared for by her maternal grandmother, but the grandmother and her daughter had a falling out, and the grandmother angrily returned to Beijing. That's how Aunt Xing ended up taking care of Mao Mao. Before the grandmother left, she asked Grandma Jinsong to be her "spy," to carefully monitor and report back on whether Aunt Xing was competent and whether the baby was doing well.

    “十万八千里，她又能干些什么呢？”我不解。

    早春的周六，我带着爸妈进纽约。刚出门走到公园，就遇到了毛毛，毛毛领着爸爸的手，跟着我的爸妈不肯离开。刚依依道别，又撞上了同楼的石大叔。这种熟稔一下把我从这个重视边界感的中产白人社区带回了“我爱我家”“闲人马大姐”宇宙。先生不懂什么是“马大姐”，好不容易通过我的翻译搞清楚了谁是谁爸爸的他感慨地说：“你爸出门好像咱们市长出巡啊。”

    “Ten thousand eight hundred miles away, what could she possibly do?” I wondered.

    On a Saturday in early spring, I took my parents to New York City. As soon as we left the house and reached the park, we ran into Mao Mao, who was holding her father's hand and wouldn't leave my parents' side. Just as we were saying our goodbyes, we bumped into Uncle Shi from our building. This familiar encounter instantly transported me from this middle-class white neighborhood that values ​​personal space back to the world of "My Family" and "Aunt Ma," a universe of close-knit community. My husband didn't understand what "Aunt Ma" meant, and after I finally explained who everyone was, he remarked, "Your dad's outing is like our mayor's official visit!"