• 如果你在纽约法拉盛找的华人育儿嫂顺利通过了观察培训期，那么恭喜你，你找到了一个大体靠谱的阿姨。那么，接下来的相处中，她会在相当长一段时间内充当你家庭的一员。如果你对她甚为满意，那么你的任务就是——学会做一个好雇主，留住她。许诺的薪水自然是基础，但是仅仅靠薪水换来的关系，肯定不能算是很牢固的关系，因为随时可以有人开价更高。所以，在薪水之外，好雇主还可以做这些：

    1. 尽量不当面使用“保姆”、“主人”这些字眼

    阿姨来家，一般就是称呼“李姐”、“王姨”以示尊重，“吴妈”这种就算了吧，又不是拍TVB剧；我知道肯定不会有人直呼“保姆”，但也请大家注意，在与他人交谈中，也尽量少使用“我家保姆”这样的字眼，用“阿姨”会好过“保姆”。我还见过有人让阿姨称孩子为“少爷”的，Excuse me？需要给你打光，再布个城堡庄园的景吗？

    2. 为阿姨提供一些家庭福利

    这些薪水之外的小福利，不会用掉你很多钱，但可以让人感觉到温暖，它可以是：

    a.一套护肤品。不用太贵，一般这个年龄段的阿姨也不会特别挑剔。推荐韩国的一些护肤品牌，价格不贵，又是进口，阿姨会比较认可。遇上打折，一两百块就能买一套。我见过有的雇主，住家阿姨用的牙膏也要自费购买的，我想说——至于吗？

    b.两套家居服。家居服是阿姨穿着频率最高的衣服，损耗率也高，而且抱孩子时又是孩子皮肤直接接触的，自己选更放心，价格不贵又实用；

    c.几瓶维生素。不需要贵的复合维生素，药店最基础的维生素B族和维生素C、E即可，几十块就可以提高免疫力。阿姨的身体健康关乎她工作的连续性和持久性。关心她的身体健康对你也没坏处；

    d.你不想穿的过季旧衣。不要以为“阿姨肯定看不上”，也别觉得“可惜了”。你可以问问阿姨，需不需要。当然了，也别给太差的，最好是质量还不错的冬衣外套棉服之类的，大部分阿姨是乐于接受的；

    e.生日礼物。阿姨的生日，可以适当送一个小礼物，或者切蛋糕、外出吃顿饭等，不需要豪华昂贵，心意到了就行；

    f.春节回乡火车票。春节抢票不容易，阿姨做家务带孩子工作很琐碎，没时间去抢票，也不擅长使用各种抢票软件。给阿姨买张火车票，既解决实际困难，也体现人文关怀。飞机票是最后的选择，因为买了机票，有些阿姨会觉得“太浪费了，还不如把钱给我呢”。

    If the Chinese nanny you found in Flushing, New York, successfully passed the observation and training period, then congratulations, you've found a generally reliable nanny. She will be a member of your family for a considerable period. If you are very satisfied with her, then your task is to learn to be a good employer and retain her. A promised salary is naturally fundamental, but a relationship built solely on salary is certainly not a very strong one, as someone else can always offer more. Therefore, in addition to salary, a good employer can do the following:

    1. Avoid using terms like "nanny" or "master" in person.

    When a nanny comes to your home, it's generally appropriate to address her as "Sister Li" or "Aunt Wang" to show respect. Saying things like "Aunt Wu" is unnecessary; this isn't a TVB drama. I know no one would directly call her "nanny," but please be mindful of this when speaking to others. Using "Auntie" is much better than "nanny." I've even seen people ask nannies to call children "Master," Excuse me? 1. Do you need me to provide lighting and set up a castle or manor scene?

    2. Provide some family benefits for the nanny

    These small perks beyond her salary won't cost you much, but they can make her feel cared for. They could include:

    a. A set of skincare products. It doesn't need to be expensive; nannies in this age group are generally not too picky. I recommend some Korean skincare brands—they're inexpensive, imported, and nannies tend to appreciate them. With discounts, you can get a set for a couple hundred yuan. I've seen employers even buy their own toothpaste for their live-in nannies—I mean, is it really necessary?

    b. Two sets of loungewear. Loungewear is what nannies wear most frequently and wears out quickly. It's also in direct contact with the baby's skin when holding them, so choosing it yourself gives you peace of mind. It's inexpensive and practical.

    c. A few bottles of vitamins. You don't need expensive multivitamins; basic B vitamins and vitamins C and E from a pharmacy will suffice. A few dozen yuan is enough to boost immunity. The nanny's health is crucial for the continuity and sustainability of her work. Concern for her health won't hurt you;

    d. Out-of-season clothes you don't want to wear. Don't assume "Auntie definitely won't like them," and don't feel "it's a waste." You can ask her if she needs them. Of course, don't give her anything too cheap; it's best to give her decent quality winter clothes, coats, or down jackets. Most aunties are happy to accept these;

    e. Birthday gift. On Auntie's birthday, you can give her a small gift, or cut a cake, or take her out for a meal, etc. It doesn't need to be luxurious or expensive; the thought is what counts;

    f. Train ticket home for Chinese New Year. Getting train tickets for Chinese New Year is difficult. Aunties are busy with housework, childcare, and work, and don't have time to try to buy tickets or are not good at using ticket-buying software. Buying her a train ticket solves a practical problem and shows humanistic care. A plane ticket is a last resort, because some aunties might feel "it's too wasteful; I'd rather have the money."

    3.帮阿姨排解愁绪

    离家在外都不容易。如果阿姨有什么愁闷之事向你倾诉或吐槽，做个耐心的倾听者，用你的知识和见识，站在她的角度帮她分析分析，常常劝解。偶尔你也可以向阿姨倾诉一下，请她作为长辈给点建议。让人感到“被需要”，也是建立良好的信任关系的途径。

    4. 住宿环境

    如果是住家阿姨，为阿姨提供好点的住宿环境。一线城市房子紧张，哪怕小一点，也尽量给阿姨一个独立的空间。听朋友说有些家里让住家阿姨在客厅飘窗上打地铺……建议这样的情况，还是考虑不住家阿姨吧。

    5. 薪酬管理

    a.  为阿姨建立一个明确的加薪体系。家庭急切需要育儿嫂的时期差不多是孩子0-3岁，第一年起薪不必太高，可以每年增长500-800美金的月薪，毕竟孩子越来越大也越来越难带。大撒钱随意加薪或者太抠总是不加薪都不是好办法；

    b.  节假日加班按合同付加班费。家政合同里规定的节假日，尽量还是让阿姨休息，如果实在需要阿姨加班，加班费上不要斤斤计较，按合同付。因为你们是需要遵守契约的家人；

    c.  如果阿姨一整年表现良好，年终可以给一个奖励性的红包，建议不低于2000元；

    d.  尽量避免在计划外随意加薪。心情好了就随意加薪是不提倡的，因为薪水涨上去之后是比较忌讳再下降的。如果一冲动加薪了事后又后悔，比较容易滋生负面情绪。

    3. Help the Nanny Alleviate Her Worries

    Being away from home is never easy. If your nanny confides in you about her troubles or complaints, be a patient listener. Use your knowledge and experience to analyze the situation from her perspective and offer advice. Occasionally, you can also confide in her and ask for her advice as an elder. Making her feel needed is a way to build a good relationship of trust.

    4. Accommodation

    If it's a live-in nanny, provide her with a good living environment. Housing is scarce in first-tier cities, so even if it's small, try to give her some private space. I've heard from friends that some families have live-in nannies sleeping on the living room window... In such cases, it's better to consider not hiring a live-in nanny.

    5. Salary Management

    a. Establish a clear salary increase system for the nanny. Families urgently need a nanny when the child is 0-3 years old. The starting salary doesn't need to be too high in the first year, but you can increase it by $500-$800 per month each year, as children become more difficult to care for as they grow older. a. Giving lavish raises arbitrarily or being stingy by never raising salaries are both bad practices.

    b. Pay overtime according to the contract for holidays. Try to let the housekeeper rest on holidays stipulated in the housekeeping contract. If overtime is absolutely necessary, don't haggle over the overtime pay; pay according to the contract. Because you are family members who need to abide by the contract.

    c. If the housekeeper performs well throughout the year, give her a year-end bonus, preferably no less than 2000 yuan.

    d. Try to avoid giving raises arbitrarily outside of the plan. Giving raises arbitrarily when you're in a good mood is discouraged, because it's difficult to avoid a decrease after a salary increase. If you impulsively give a raise and then regret it later, it's easy to develop negative emotions.

    6.  菜金

    很多人担心阿姨“贪污菜金”。其实现在电商如此发达，柴米油盐酱醋奶尽量自己采购，可以送货上门，生鲜也可以电商。家里偶尔买些蔬菜水果，也用不了大额的菜金。建议一周给一次，大体估算一下，差不多就行了。一样样算自己也很累的。

    7.  育儿

    抓大放小。坚持大的原则——用餐习惯、长期饮食营养结构、睡眠习惯等方面要反复强化；但是细节方面——今天吃了什么菜？到底吃了多少克？早上吃的够不够，中午吃的够不够？膝盖怎么磕破皮了……这些方面，了解一下就行，没必要一条条抓着不放。人是容错率很高的动物，不会因为一顿饭少吃了一样蛋白质就营养不良。

    总体来说，能做到以上这些，你和育儿嫂之间的雇佣关系就会比较牢固。一方面，你对她进行了严格的筛选和考察培训，认为她是不错的阿姨；另一方面，你也做到了对她遵守契约、关爱有加，她会认为你是难得的好雇主。当双方都产生“钱多点少点都是次要，我换一个（家）可未必遇到这么好的人”的想法时，良好的雇佣关系就达成了。

    6. Grocery Money

    Many people worry that nannies will "embezzle" the grocery money. Actually, with e-commerce so developed now, you can buy your own groceries (rice, oil, salt, soy sauce, vinegar, milk) and have them delivered. Fresh produce can also be purchased online. Occasionally buying some fruits and vegetables won't require a large amount of grocery money. It's recommended to give them money once a week, roughly estimate it, and that's enough. Calculating everything individually is tiring.

    7. Childcare

    Focus on the big picture. Stick to the major principles—repeatedly reinforcing eating habits, long-term nutritional structure, and sleep habits; however, for details—what did they eat today? How many grams? Did they eat enough for breakfast and lunch? How did they scrape their knees?… just be aware of these things; there's no need to nitpick. Humans are highly forgiving; they won't become malnourished just because they missed one protein source at one meal.

    Overall, if you can do all of the above, your employment relationship with the nanny will be relatively stable. On the one hand, you have rigorously screened, examined, and trained her, and believe she is a good nanny; on the other hand, you have also fulfilled your contractual obligations and shown her great care, so she will consider you a rare and excellent employer. When both parties feel that "a little more or less money is secondary, and I might not find such a good person in another place," a good employment relationship is established.

    如果跟保姆的缘分已尽，需要解雇保姆怎么办？

    解雇大体分三种情况 

    1.  阿姨个人原因无法再做

    尽量跟阿姨商量一下，让她给段过渡期，以便于你能找到下一个合适的人来接替。如果对方实在有困难，也不要因此迁怒。市场经济，来去自由，无需强留，大方告别就好。

    2.  自己的家庭情况有变化不再需要阿姨

    自己辞职了、家庭经济状况有变、孩子大了……都有可能是不再需要阿姨的理由。遇到这种情况，尽量早告知，如果有朋友家需要阿姨，能为阿姨再介绍一个靠谱下家就更好了，这样你们甚至可以建立长期的熟人关系，以后你需要用阿姨时说不定还可以找到她。

    3.  发现阿姨有重大人品问题

    当然这种概率并不高，不过再周密的考察，也难免有走眼的时候。如果相处一段时间突然发现阿姨存在重大人品问题，要果断解雇，去和她客气地谈谈，不需要当面指出其人品问题激怒她，就说“相处一段时间觉得不合适，想再找个岁数大点的/年轻点的试试”，并在你的视线之内让其当天离开，以免造成不可控的安全隐患。

    尽量不要得罪小人，因为你的家人孩子她都很熟悉。同时也要反复叮嘱家人尤其是孩子，再遇到她出现在家附近要保持戒备心。

    What if you need to dismiss your nanny when your relationship with her has come to an end?

    There are generally three scenarios for dismissal:

    1. The nanny can no longer work due to personal reasons.

    Try to discuss with the nanny and ask for a transition period so you can find a suitable replacement. If she is genuinely facing difficulties, don't hold a grudge. In a market economy, people are free to come and go; there's no need to force her to stay. Just say goodbye gracefully.

    2. Your family situation changes and you no longer need the nanny.

    Resigning, changes in your family's financial situation, or your children growing up are all possible reasons why you no longer need the nanny. In this case, inform her as early as possible. If you have friends who need a nanny, it would be even better if you could introduce her to a reliable replacement. This way, you can even build a long-term relationship, and you might be able to find her again if you need a nanny in the future.

    3. You discover that the nanny has serious character flaws.

    Of course, this is unlikely, but even with the most thorough investigation, mistakes can happen. If, after working with her for a while, you suddenly discover serious character flaws in the nanny, you must decisively dismiss her. Talk to her politely; there's no need to directly point out her character issues and provoke her. Just say, "After working together for a while, I feel it's not a good fit, and I'd like to try finding someone older/younger." Have her leave that same day within your sight to avoid creating uncontrollable safety risks.

    Try not to offend her, as she knows your family and children well. Also, repeatedly remind your family, especially the children, to be vigilant if they see her near your home again.